Personal Daemons and Finding Meaning

This week I wanted to write about a topic that may be timely for many of us as we traverse the holiday season, and begin a new year…  The topic of finding meaning in nutrition, lifestyle, and exercise.  This time of year there’s plenty of opportunities to over-indulge in any number of well… indulgences…  Dessert, alcohol, skipping your workout…  Schedules are often crazy this time of year, and there seem to always be parties or goodies around every corner.  So, driving the decisions you’re making on a daily basis?  What are the reasons you allow yourself to indulge, or skip a workout?  What are the reasons you don’t?

On a recent Robb Wolf podcast he was interviewing John Durant, the author of The Paleo Manifesto.  John mentioned the concept that he was often working with people to develop meaning in their nutrition and exercise plan.  This concept really struck me, and made me want to write a blog post on the topic.

Earlier this year I competed in a powerlifting meet for the first time in many years, and I made the decision to train for, and compete in that event because I wanted something to train for.  I have felt for a long time that it’s much easier for me to stick to a workout program, and watch what I eat if I am training for something.  So I did a 12 week training plan, and diet to prepare for the meet, and never missed a workout over that time.

So, what’s driving you to make healthy choices?

Not everybody needs to, or should compete in a sport.  For most people, meaning has to come from somewhere else.  I’ll admit it, I watch the Biggest Loser sometimes, even though I don’t condone let alone endorse the techniques they use to help people lose weight.  On that show they often take people into the Dr. on the first episode for a physical, and there’s always that scene where the Dr. tells the person how they are almost dead while dramatic music plays in the background.  As I see it, that’s their way of giving these people meaning, course what the contestants don’t know is that it’s pretty hard to determine whether or not they will be made more healthy by what they’re about to do on the show.  But that’s a whole different story…

So, where do you find meaning?

When you’re training for a competition, or have a Dr. tell you you’re almost dead it may be easier to find meaning, but that doesn’t apply to most of us.  I want to encourage you to have some honest conversation with yourself about what it is that makes you want to get healthy.  If the first thing that comes to mind is that you want to finally like your body, we’ve got a problem.  Loving our body is something we all need to be able to do no matter what it looks like on the outside.  Yes, I understand this is easier said than done for most of us.  I have struggled my entire life with body image issues, so I get it.  My point is that if your meaning is that you want to finally like your body, you’re going to have a problem.  Liking (loving?) your body is a mental issue not a physical issue and no amount of weight loss is going to fix that issue.  This really is a topic for a different blog (or maybe just check out the stuff that Jason Seib has written on the topic), but for now I just want to suggest that when we’re looking for meaning we should look elsewhere.

Chasing performance goals can be a great way to find meaning in your nutrition and exercise.  This isn’t too different from training for a competition, but simply setting a goal to accomplish something difficult can be a great way to find meaning in the short term.  As the new year begins it’s a great time to write some goals for yourself for the next year.  Maybe you want to get your first strict pullup, or deadlift or squat your bodyweight.  Chasing a goal or two like this is a great way to get, and stay on track.

In the longer term however, I would suggest that we need to find a deeper meaning.  I would suggest that often that deeper meaning might be derived from loving ourselves wholly.  I know that everyday there’s an obese, diabetic person who’s told by their Dr. that they are killing themselves and need to make a change, and yet many of those folks don’t make that change.  For some people being told that they’re nearly dead is the wake up call, but for others it doesn’t bring about a change.  I would also suggest that for most of those people it’s not because they don’t know what to do; it’s simply that their own personal demons hold them back.  Not until someone comes to terms with those daemons and begins to love themselves unconditionally, can they truly change.  If you’ve yo-yo dieted much of your life, maybe you know what I’m talking about.

Finding that deeper meaning is going to come from a process of self-discovery, and facing the daemons inside each one of us.  Only after we’ve done that process can we truly find the deeper meaning that leads us to make those healthy lifestyle choices.  Look at it this way…  When you make that choice to splurge on a dessert for the second time in a week in which you’ve not made it to the gym (have you had that happen??), deep down somewhere you’re choosing the momentary joy of eating cake over the long term joy of feeling great and being healthy.  You’re choosing to be happy in the moment, instead of happy for a lifetime.  I’m not suggesting that we all live like monks and never splurge, but if we’re honest we all know when we’ve splurged too much.  Right!?!?  So, maybe you’re choosing the now, because you simply don’t love yourself and your body enough to think that you deserve the forever?  You’re running up the credit card cause you don’t really care about the bill or your credit rating.  I’ve been there… I’ve lived that way…  The splurges are always great for a moment, but then you find yourself even more down after that momentary happiness wears off.  You live like a junky looking for your next “happiness high”, instead of seeking happiness that lasts a lifetime.

Alright… I went way down the woo-woo path with this blog, but I hope you get my point.  I encourage you to have a conversation with yourself about where the meaning is in your life.  Are you trying to get healthy because you hate your body, or because you love yourself enough to know that you deserve a healthy body forever?  Are you seeking health because your kids need you, or because you want to be in and experience their lives as long as you can?  Ask yourself some tough questions, and answer them honestly.  Then set about finding that meaning in your life by throat-punching the hell out of your daemons, and finally moving on.  It can be done!  People do it every day, and I think today is your day!